The 3 states of being or principles represent different ways of functioning and behaving that need to be balanced within each individual.  We need to know when to love and accept ourselves (feminine principle of unconditional love), when to act assertively and set boundaries (adult male principle), and when to play and have fun and be creative and spontaneous (child principle).



Most people are fixated as the child state of being when confronted with emotional challenges, trauma   or conflict. The child state of being is the unconscious mind; we tend to reactively respond as the child when triggered by similar circumstances, people including facial expressions, words, gestures and emotions that remind us of earlier unresolved episodes and incidents in early childhood.  This leads to volatile, explosive or inappropriate methods of expression that leads to further confrontation, rejection, guilt or projections from others.   

The ideal aim is to learn how to bridge to, and access in a split second, the adult male or female state of being without thinking.  Through repetition and rehearsal of exercises and visualisation skills, as illustrated in the Narrative Reconditioning Technique we are able to instinctively adopt a more empowered state of being.  With each state of being a correspondingly different set of behavioural patterns will emerge, where we walk, act, feel and project a different energy dynamic as well as behavioural skills.

These behavioural styles and patterns are adopted in early childhood according to the way we learn to survive and to be loved.  These dynamics become normality, but are often not functional in terms of the results that align with our highest potential.


By identifying which predominant state of being we are operating in during difficult times and by rebalancing these states of being, we are able to regain the awareness, and reprocess and desensitize these behavioural styles to make the changes towards inner empowerment and constructive change.


When we are angry and say things we don’t mean or act in a childlike fashion, we are predominantly fixated in the child state of being as opposed to being either the adult female or male state of being.  By learning through repetition and practice to flip into one of the other states of being, we are able to effectively heal our inner wounds that make us reactive as well as having the time to think about and solve the problem or to deal with the situation more effectively so that it does not backfire or sabotage results.


The mother / father / child balance is determined by the availability of role models as a child.  If one or more of the role models in early childhood was either symbolically or physically missing, that aspect or principle becomes inaccessible as a possibility to embody or to operate from for the individual. For example, if the father was missing or absent, and the mother did not know how to be assertive and action oriented, and was a victim, the child will not be able to access that state of being of being confident and assertive to take action without guilt or fear of outer abusive authorities.  The individual will also resort to dealing with conflict from the state of being of the child where anger outbursts, tantrums, and sabotaging communicative patterns emerge.   A child adopts a combination of both parents ‘unconscious patterns and generationally these are passed down.


By taking responsibility to balance, access and consciously interchange these states of being when needed, we are able to become an empowered role model for change for our future generations. Each individual needs to be able to embody all states of being of the mother/ father and child within, independent of gender.

 By learning to love ourselves, take constructive action and follow through to achieve results in an elegant manner where the joy and love via solutions unfolds, we are able to remember our wholeness so that we do not look to fulfil these needs from others in a co- dependant manner.  Better relations of co creation and joy are fostered.






The Narrative Reconditioning Technique (NRT) serves to both identify and reprocess these patterns and states of being by means of a projective story telling and drawing technique.  Each person tells a different version of the story as they project their own unconscious program into the story.  A 6 phase process serves to introject the missing aspects, restore the balance of the functioning of the 3 principles as well as to effect constructive change and forward movement into an empowered future.


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